Hate Something Beautiful

Warrington Borough Transport and the grumpy old driver 28A

Over the past few months I have noticed that many companies have begun to 'not give a ****' about ANYTHING!

Compliments do not work!

Complaints do not work!

Here is my favourite one!

It was a cold day, early this month (November), and I was heading into town with the Alfie and Finn. I had rushed about with both boys, and often find it hard to get the bus with the pram, there isn't always room on the bus, as most of the time there are prams already on there. After waiting a short while for the bus... with the babies...in the cold, (despite the bus stop being literally on our door step) the bus came. It was the 28A heading into the town centre. The idiot bus driver almost didn't bother to stop at all, until I did a little jog after it... both babies in tow.

I got on the bus, and because I had given chase, he now had to let the little old lady on too who was now walking briskly towards the bus that was not going to stop for her at all. The bus driver then said to me "I am going to be late for my own bus now." Then he took off, with haste, just before my toddler and the old lady had sat down. Luckily she had managed to grab the pole before she was knocked onto a waiting list for a new hip. However, my toddler went flying.

So there I was, gob smacked that someone could be so rude, for no real reason... while on duty AT WORK!!! In a job that is ALWAYS customer facing... and also holding a pram into place and trying to stand a very confused and shaken toddler so that I could lift all 42lbs, with one arm, onto my lap.

The driver muttered the whole way there! Then we were the last to get off and the slowest. As I got off the bus I said "Thanks very much, I hope the rest of your day looks up."

To which he replied "Yeah well I bet I have missed my bus now"

So I replied "maybe it wasn't meant to be eh, thanks again..." and before I could wish him farewell... he went on to rant

"yeah well you could of got the number 4"

So I took my toddlers hand and said "Lets get away from this grumpy middle aged... sorry... old man eh baby boy"

I met Ben straight off the bus and explained. He wanted me to point him out so he could put a complaint in...

LLETZ treatment and cervical abnormalities

I have really let my blogging slip lately! What a rubbish legacy eh kids! I have kept the facebook and G+ up to date for my little lads, so that is something. I do try not to miss a thing! However the last few months I have been mostly sleeping awake... Fellow parents will totally get what I mean by that! Like the time I fell asleep standing up in a shop!

I think I have been mostly processing my own thoughts recently. After 2 years of biopsy after biopsy, and colposcopy anfter colposcopy, I have now been treated for CIN2, and my latest biopsy of the part of my cervix which they removed, was not cancerous.

I am now fully recovered from the treatment that I had, which was quite straight forward and quick, but extremely daunting after the birthing experience :( hospitals still frighten me and make me very anxious.

I write about the experience because there were many terrifying moments during that journey, and cell abnormalities are very common in young women, and rarely mean that they will develop into cervical cancer. However as soon as the 'C' word is a factor in ANY illness, I think most people's worlds do come crashing down. I know that mine did.

It started for me when I had a 'funny turn' in Starbucks, where I lost a very large blood clot and a lot of blood suddenly, for no obvious reason. I was very confused and frightened. I visited my GP to request a smear test, and two male GP's refused to refer me. Then after I lost this very large clot, I decided to visit a female GP, as I was quite sensitive about what/ why this could be happening. The female GP did a smear test there and then, and sent a swab off the the lab, just to be on the safe side. I was only 20 years old, and apparently they don't usually test anybody under the age of 25. Some how this GP got the sample tested and some weeks later I received a prescription through the post. I had an infection.

I took the tablets that were prescribed and forgot all about it. A few more weeks later, I received a letter and some leaflets about cervical cancer.

I literally saw the 'cancer' leaflet, looked at my baby boy who was about 10 months old, looked at Ben and I thought that I was going to be sick. My eyes filled up and I saw Finn's life without me in it flash before my eyes. I kept trying to read the leaflet, but it just wasn't sinking in. It took me days of research to finally calm myself down.

I had a colposcopy and a biopsy a few days later. The results were that I had CIN2. I discussed the options with the lovely Dr, and he put my mind at rest completely. However it had rocked the family so much, that I decided to have treatment, even though it was not yet cancerous.

Some months passed and two weeks before I was due treatment, I found out that I was pregnant with my second little boy. This meant that I had to have regular colposcopy appointments.

In these months, the CIN did not progress to become cancerous, but it also did not get any better, so 6 weeks after I had Alfie, I was back again, and treatment was the only sensible option.

Cervical cancer statistics are very frightening. Abnormal cells caught at this stage and treated, mean that the chances of them coming back and developing into cancer are very slim, however this is quite the opposite once cancer has formed, then the statistics are not in your favour any more. So treatment was, really, the only option.

Now I have had LLETZ treatment and I feel great. It only took about 15 minutes, and I stayed awake for it. It was uncomfortable and painful at times, but I could go straight back to my little boys not long after. I could not be happier.

I realise how lucky I am, and I believe that I have a guardian angel looking out for me. Its so easy to forget when life gets in the way.

Now I only have to back twice this year, then every year for nine more years, then back to normal smear testing, providing that everything is ok.

I am very, very grateful to everyone who supported me, and understood how I was feeling. Although it was very minor compared to the things that have happened to the people around me, I think because they have been through so much, a minor scare like this, became very overwhelming. I kept telling myself not to be ridiculous, freaking out over something like this, after all they had found something and were monitoring it, and treating it. I knew that, that was a wonderful position to be in, and without those twists in fate, I would not have found out about these abnormal cells until I was 25. I am sure that they would have vanished by then. But if they hadn't, would I still be here now?

Even when things look bleak, I have to try to remember, that fate is looking after me, and it could have been much much much worse.