keep on going

Some people wish to win the lottery, and although I have done this in that past, now I have just wished to get onto a good course at uni. Not the law course at Oxford that was once disregarded through my own stupidity although I am sure that was not my destiny now, but a simple teaching course which I know that I am capable of doing well on.

I know that this is not how wishes work, but I am justifying this by making up a new rule, which is that, yes, you are not supposed to tell anybody because this voids the wish, however I am giving this the condition that 'tell' means spoken, and 'somebody' means human. Thus using the technicalities of 'tell' meaning spoken, and this being written, and 'somebody' meaning human and this being written within a blog... I've lost myself now too.

I did once wish to win the lottery in all honesty. And I did. Well kind of.

What happened was I was having an awful time and needed to get away... I needed Ben to come with me but he wasn't being convinced easily. In fact it was almost impossible. Almost.

Now when I say I was having an awful time, I'm not talking really awful like some people, but more 'Jeremy Kyle Ridiculous' awful.

I was sat on my bed with my baby boy in my arms, he was sleeping peacefully which was as rare as a square water melon. Yet dispute this moment being sacred, I was in emotional turmoil within. I was lonely, frightened and powerlessly vulnerable. I needed to escape the social prison I had been confined to.

So I wished to win the lottery.

I wished on an eyelash that had come loose and fallen out while I was wiping away my tears.

So here's the miracle... I forgot to put a ticket on.

Then the next day Ben came home from work, and said that the funniest thing had happened. Someone had left a bunch of scratch cards behind, he'd kept them but no one had come back to claim them. Each one of them was a winning ticket. I held them in my hands in disbelief.

My pitiful wish dawned on me. I turned the tickets over to see the National Lottery logo.

There was not enough winnings for me to run away, but this restored my faith in fate and destiny. I thought that one day this pain will be worthwhile.

It was.

My faith is now quite strong and I hope that it does remain throughtout my life. So I am going to apply for the courses which I know that I can do well on, and I am going to just hope that I am good enough.

To be continued eh...