I'm not sure if it is my mind that is my worst enemy, or whether it is not facing my problems and dealing with them properly. I am perfectly ok when I am busy, however when I am left alone to think, I suddenly get flooded with many thoughts that I simply do not wish to process.
I have no time and no tolerance for weakness, and think that harbouring these memories that do me nothing but harm, has no purpose but to cause more damage than has already been done by said problems. Thus, weakening the ship which I guess is a metaphor for, well just my head, or me.
Although I also wonder if I have processed these pains, and dealt with them properly, perhaps this is why they haunt me, not because I let them, make them or call upon them in a self destructive way, but because somewhere within my mind I have not processed these things enough to heal.
Perhaps it will just take time.
I do not usually write about these things. If I don't have anything good to say I try not to say anything at all. Maybe that is the problem. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
Well thank you blog, you have served a moderate service, so I don't have to let my friends know me any more than they need to. Not only that but I will work this out and get back to you. If not and you feel like you have the answers... pop them on a post card, just make sure it's one labelled wish you were here, or even one saying wish you were her. Both apt.
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